Roughruby's Retreat

In the Bend

2012-01-01T20:47:00.000-05:00

The beginning, March, 2006

The end, December, 2011

The middle, the Bend.

In the bend, much is learned.

A co-worker needing to talk is not an interruption, they’rea blessing.

Each person has an individual need, the more resources youknow the better you can help.

Every caller is a person, not just a caller; talk with themlike they are.

Every coworker is a person, talk with them like they are.

No matter how bad things get, laugh; it does help you feelbetter.

Each person can be empowered to do great things.

Creativity comes from the strangest places.

Be your unique self, no matter how unique that is.

Even while paying attention to the details, take a break forfun.

Keep a bottle of bubbles in your desk and blow some often!

Perseverance is not easy, but it is necessary to seeresults.

Relationships are worth far more than the actual work.

Each person whether they are employed, volunteer, a calleror client, leave an impression that can never be completely erased.

Look for the best in your coworkers and clients.

You create the atmosphere around you, be sure to make it oneof encouragement and peace.

Silly Putty is one of the best stress relievers on theplanet!

Listen long before you make a decision, because every decisionchanges something for more than just you.

You impact more people than you think.

Each lesson taught through a person, an experience, or overtime; all extremely valuable.

Today is the end of that Bend; what will be in thenext.

*I started at Crisis Line in March of 2006 and my time there ended December 2011. What a ride!

Finally Home

2011-07-10T16:38:00.001-04:00

What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet.
~William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet

But how true is this statement? Can you imagine calling a rose, stinkweed? Something tells me that if that was its name, it would change our desire to even go near it. Is it the same then for people? Not as much that we would shun or avoid others strictly because of their name, but do we have names for or beliefs about ourselves that have a negative meaning to us? Do we act according to what those names mean even if they are false?

Late last year I read the book Captivating by Jon and Stasi Eldridge. Then I began listening to the podcasts of the Captivating Conference while I was driving. I was about to leave for my favorite conference of the year and stopped by my church to say goodbye to my sister on my way out of town. In the lobby there a few other ladies who share the name Amy. With three Amy's in the lobby, my friend, Cory Ball, joked that he felt he needed to change his name to fit in. I assured him that the name just wouldn't fit and we talked for a moment about how important names are and that mine was Amy Beth, Beloved House of God. I thought nothing more of the conversation, found my sister, and said goodbye.

As I drove the three hours to the conference, I again listened to the podcasts. The one that hit me was when Stasi was teaching about the lies the enemy will keep us believing. As I drove, I asked God what lies I was believing. The word that came to my heart was "disappointment". Not a long list of life's disappointments but that I was a disappointment to everyone. I cried and I wept. That is what I had been believing and living to hide.

The conference was wonderful. I felt accepted and important. Our last activity before we left was to take a rock from a basket that was passed around and say one word that summed up what we would take away from the conference. I heard the others say things like teamwork, unity, etc. The only word that kept coming to my head was home. "Home," I thought. "What in the world does that mean?" It then came to me. That is how I have felt here and what I want to leave with, feeling at home.

Driving home, I again began listening to Stasi. This time she was talking about God giving us a new name and how that name is as unique was we are. She said that many times that name is one that God gives to squash the lies of the enemy. She told her story about how God had given her a special name. She also said that it took six years to realize her name. I cried out to God and asked for a name of my own and that I really didn't want to wait six years for it. The next thing Stasi said was that for some of us, our parents were right in line with God and gave us our name when we were born. I thought for a few moments then began to feel my eyes well up with tears. The words that came to my heart were, "you are My Home and I am not disappointed in My Home." The tears were now more like a waterfall pouring down my face. I quickly found somewhere to pull over.

For a few moments, I had to let it all sink in. Before I left for the conference, He reminded me of the name my parents gave me. I even took pride in what it meant, Beloved House of God. He then gave me a beautiful example of the new meaning of my name at the conference. Now at the pinnacle, He opened my eyes to see how that new meaning was what He thought of me all along and He threw the lies I had always taken as truth into the fire of His grace. My name is His Home.

I now wear the outline of a house on my left ring finger as a constant reminder of what my King thinks of me. I am His Home and He is not disappointed in me.

What lies have you believed about yourself? What new name does God have for you that will pour grace over the lies of your past?

What's He REALLY Thinking?

2011-05-22T22:28:00.000-04:00

Every woman wants to understand what a man does and says as well as love him in the midst of it. In What’s He Really Thinking? How to Be a Relational Genius with the Man in Your Life, Paula Rinehart helps women do just that. Since relating to a man means having a deeper understanding of what makes him tick, that is Paula’s goal from the first chapter.

She takes the reader on a journey that starts with looking at why men do what they do, what makes them hurt, and what causes them to change. This gives women a window into men’s psyches and hearts, where understanding begins.

The trip continues as Paula helps us learn how to show love to these men in the ways they best understand and respond to. She gives real life examples for the five key areas of expectations, respect, conflict, getting through and intimacy. Each example demonstrates practical ways to communicate and meet his needs while strengthening your relationship.

The author also includes sections on how to pray for and understand your specific man as well as The Relational Genius Guide that helps you digest each chapter more effectively.

Even though What’s He Really Thinking? was written to help you relate better to that one man in your life, I recommend this book for any woman who wants have a better understanding of any man in their life. The practicality lends itself to family, friends and work relationships.

11/7 (The Finale)

2011-01-05T14:00:00.011-05:00

The waiting game began. Waiting for the doctor to see me; to be taken to x-ray; to be taken to CT scan; to see the doctor again; to eat or drink, etc.

In the midst of all of this, my family started to arrive. MJ, my little “sisto”, and her husband, Joey, were already in town, so they got there first. Mom and my sister, Vickie, arrived soon. Then my brother and sister-in-law, Rusty and Frankie. Others from Brentwood were in the lobby waiting for word on my condition.

After all of the testing, I was diagnosed with a cracked rib, a bruised right lung, and three cracked vertebrae in my neck. The pain was more intense than anything I had ever dealt with before. Just moving to feed myself was too much.

I finally got to my room at about 9:30. As I was wheeled in and transferred to the bed, I saw faces of people that had stayed to make sure I was okay. In addition to my family, the Bassie family, my friends, Erin Suder, Justin Snyder and a new face, Val LaScola, were there. These wonderful people stood around my bed as Mark Bassie prayed. I was overwhelmed with God’s goodness to me through them.

The day was over and my body had been beaten. I was beyond exhausted. Morphine brought about needed sleep. The day started off like any other day but ended in a way I never wanted.

Each day has events and moments to be experienced and things that happen to teach us and help us grow. It’s our choice to either allow ourselves to learn or to let the opportunity pass us by.

I’m learning to ask…”How am I going to let it shape me?” “Is there something I need to realize?”

How are you going to let today shape you? Is there something you need to realize?

11/7 (Part 2)

2011-01-02T14:00:00.005-05:00

Even though the pain was extreme and I was told it was about an hour, it seemed like only moment’s until I was on a backboard and in the ambulance. I was impressed even in those moments at their quick skill at the same time they were being very attentive to how I was feeling and reacting. I was apologizing to them and they were telling me not to be sorry at all. Each of their voices was calm even in the midst of the urgency.

As I laid in the back of the ambulance, I place I had told myself I would never be, I heard those taking care of my medical needs talking to each other to verify everything they did with someone else. Their only concern was me. I was not an inconvenience or problem, I was their priority. I was and am very thankful.

I again heard my sister. She was asking if she could ride with me. She then took her place in the front seat leaving Betsy, the only vehicle we now had, in the median. One of our pastors was already handling how to get it to the hospital.

J called from the front that the police officer handling the accident was a former student of mine. I asked her who. I was proud to hear the name Ronald Coleman. He was a wonderful young man when I had him in class. Now a man there to take care of me. How things turn around.

As we journeyed from the accident site to the hospital, I could tell we were not flying at high speed. In fact, we were probably going below speed limit. Why, my comfort level. The driver heard my pain and did his best to make the ride easier on me.

We finally arrived that the hospital and as I was taken from the ambulance, the first person my sister saw was our pastor, Jon Dupin. Even though he know there was not much he could do, he wanted to be there as a support for us. I was wheeled through the doors I had walked past so many timed before for work. I was placed in a bay and then I finally felt the touch of my sister. Never have I been so thankful for her.

When have you felt extremely cared for? What or who are you thankful for?

11/7 (Part 1)

2010-12-31T21:16:00.002-05:00

I texted my sister at 12:20 to let her know I would meet her and a few friends for lunch at 12:45. I quickly got ready and headed to my car.

At 12:40, I was headed down 460 west excited to spend time with friends I hadn’t seen in a while. Suddenly something caught my eye. The car in the right hand lane was moving into my lane. You always tell yourself you know how you will react when something like that happens; I know I had even rehearsed it in my head. What I rehearsed is not what happened.

My reaction, quickly turn the wheels toward the median. It was a big one so I could slow down and come to a stop and then ease back onto the highway when traffic allowed. Nope, not what happened. I did quickly turn my wheel toward the median but when my wheels caught the gravel the unpredictable began. My car began to skid further into the median. I then felt myself being thrown back and forth between the driver and passenger side of the car as it flipped 2 or 3 times. It finally came to a stop, on its wheels thankfully. I was headfirst in the passenger seat.

At that moment, I could not take a breath. I was scared beyond where I had ever felt fear before. I pushed myself back into the driver’s seat and began to feel the pain as I took a breath. Almost immediately there were people converging on the car…a pastor and his wife, a sheriff from a neighboring county, and Aimee Blanks, our Brentwood Church office manager. I am thankful for each person that stopped, but you know how you feel when a familiar and trusted voice is heard above the crowd. Aimee started the chain of events that gave a foundation of support for the rest of the day. She called my sister, J, and stood by the car until emergency services made her step aside so they could get me out. God had her there at the perfect moment.

The deputy came to the passenger side and asked about my pain and what had happened. I tried to but every breath hurt. I remember him talking to someone near the front of the car telling them to make sure the battery was disconnected. I then heard the sirens and he left to give them his analysis and let emergency services do their job.

Emergency services began assessing the situation around me. I heard them discussing the best way to get me out. I was relieved when I heard someone say they did not have to cut me out. Over the static noise of the situation, I heard the most beautiful voice even though it was filled with panic and concern. It's one voice that always helps to put my heart at ease, my sister, J. She called from a distance since she was not allowed to get near the car. My heart began to calm.

Whose voice calms your heart?

Not Finished Yet

2010-12-17T17:13:00.000-05:00

Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 1:6)

His long life has been filled with a wonderful wife, numerous children, grandchildren and great grandchildren and a successful insurance career. Each holiday his house was filled with traditional sights, sounds and smells.

Now Grandpa Jesse has only a small fraction of his heart working. He’s in his mid 80’s, the family wonders how long he will be here and he sometimes questions why he is still here.

Recently Grandpa Jesse was taken to the hospital, again. Seems like that has been his second home often over the past year.

During this stay, his brother was also in the hospital and not doing well. They called the brother’s family in and Grandpa Jesse was wheeled up to the room. He asked his family to give him a few minutes alone with his brother. Grandpa felt strongly that he needed to share Jesus with his brother one more time. This was probably the last time that he would hear the Good News.

We don’t know what decision he made or will make, but we know that one man wondering how much time he has left took some of that time to share Christ with another man who doesn’t know how much time he has left.

We may wonder at times why we are here. Sometimes even to the point of getting depressed. We all have a divine reason for being here – every hour, every minute, every second. So what is it? Only you and God can answer that question. Ask Him. Listen. Act.

What will you do with the time you have been given? What has God been nudging you do that you need to act on? Do it…it is not too late!

My Foundational Ruby

2010-11-24T17:26:00.000-05:00

On this day in 1935, Marlene Louise Sickels, now Marlene McCormick, was born. Just an ordinary firstborn to ordinary parents. That’s what some would say, but not me, her other 5 children or the countless other lives she has touched.

There is no way I could begin to tell you Mom’s story. My goal is to celebrate the gemlike beauty she has shown throughout her life.

Her clarity: This lady is the most genuine woman I know. Her honesty and transparency in everything she does draws people to her. They know that she is a person who will be on their side completely but not always to tell them what they want to hear; to give them truth. Knowing this woman is to know that you are cared for in the truest sense of the word.

Her color: Not her skin, but the deep glowing color of who she really is. She invests in the lives of people. Almost like adding strokes color to a painting, she blends the stunning colors of friendship, love, trust, and Jesus into her friendships. Each person she loves knows that she doesn’t know how to have a “surface” friendship. Those relationships are rich and beautiful.

Her cut: Cutting a gem is what is used to perfect it. Each situation in a person’s life changes them. If we allow it to change or cut us for the better, the color and the clarity of who we are is made more brilliant just like a gem. Mom has been no stranger to life’s drama. After all, this is a lady who lost her husband in her mid thirties with 6 children to raise. Enduring more than her fair share of tragedy, she allowed her heart to learn and be shaped by the Master Gem Cutter’s hammer and chisel. She desired to have God shape her into the woman He knew she needed and wanted to be. I am not blind enough to say she has made perfect decisions every time. She is human. She did, however, stay in communication with her Lord so He could make her more like Him.

Because of this amazing woman’s life and how she chose to live, I was given a foundation on which to build my own life. A foundation of a priceless ruby.

Marmie, you are a true Proverbs 31 woman. Thank you for being my foundational ruby!

“Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 'Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.' ” Proverbs 31:28 & 29

Captivating

2010-11-05T12:01:00.001-04:00

Every woman has three core desires: to know they are beautiful, to have an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and to be romanced. In the new and expanded Captivating, John and Stasi Eldridge explain how these are woven into a woman’s heart and how a woman can uncover the truth that God wants her to know about each of them.

John and Stasi start by looking at the fallen, wounded heart of a woman. We see how past hurts and the attacks of our enemy have damaged our view of ourselves and clouded us from being able to truly understand and internalize how God thinks and feels about us. They give practical steps to help us move past the hurts and experience the romance of our King, how beautiful we are to Him, and that irreplaceable role He has set within us.

I highly suggest that every woman read this book. We all need to deeply know our Lord and His love and desire for us. I also recommend that men read this book. Often men say they have a difficult time understanding women (after all we are complicated). Men need to know what is happening in the heart of women. This is a perfect way to gain more of that understanding.

Get a copy, read it, and let the truths within it change you.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze.com <http://BookSneeze.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Use who?

2010-04-18T20:47:00.000-04:00

Excuses have been a part of each of us since that first, forbidden bite in the Garden of Eden. Sometimes we use them so we don't have to take responsibility for our actions or because we're ashamed. Do we also use them because we have a hard time believing that we could be capable of doing the things we dream of? Yes.

How many times have we heard or even used these..."I'm just not good enough to do this." "This is too important and I'm not skilled enough." "A project like this takes someone with a deep, continuous connection with God. That's not me."

I had a realization today. Proverbs is a book written by the wisest man who ever lived, except for that one chapter at the very end. Chapter 31 is written from the wisdom and experience of Solomon's mother, Bathsheba.

The first thing that tends to come to our minds about this woman is that she is the one who had an affair with King David and we know what a fiasco that situation ended up being. But Bathsheba, like David, repented and was used by God. Even to the extreme of giving us a guidebook, sanctioned by God, of how women should live their lives.

So a woman who had an affair with a married man, got pregnant outside of marriage and married the father after he killed her husband was the one to give the rest of the world's women the plan to live and grow by. If God can use a woman that went through all that then each of us can follow the dream and plan He has for our lives.

None of us are perfect and never will be. God doesn't distribute the dreams He gives us by how holy, pure or spiritual we are. He plants dreams and goals in out hearts because of how He made us and where our lives have taken us. Because of all Bathsheba learned from her experience and her repentance, God was able to provide her the opportunity to let the rest of us know what a virtuous woman looks like. She took the opportunity. I'm glad she did.

What dream has God placed in your heart that you need to dust off, stop making excuses about and start working toward again? There will be so many people who will be glad you did.

Litter?

2010-04-10T15:35:00.001-04:00

Vegas. A city crowded with eye popping spectacle. A hotel that looks like it was built around the Eiffel Towel. Another that has a roller coaster charging through it. A water show with water shooting as high as the hotel as it dances to music by Shania Twain or Josh Grobin. There are premiere shows everywhere if you are willing to pay the incredible prices. So many awesome things to see and experience.

There was one thing that I didn't think I needed to experience. I was warned about but didn't understand it until I was walking on the strip. Walking past the Paris hotel toward the all of the other grandiose sites, my ears were drawn to a crisp, popping sound. As soon as it registered, I braced myself. Men were lining the sidewalk trying to hand out playing cards. They had the popping of the cards down to perfection; drawing your ears then eyes to what they wanted you to see. Many people not knowing what the cards were, took them, checked them, then with looks of shock or disgust, tossed them on the ground. The sidewalk was covered with them. These thin pieces of cardboard bore the images of prostitutes along with their measurements, "services", and fees.

When I was told about it before I left, I completed expected to feel angry and disgusted. As my eyes fell to ground looking at the litter, I wasn't disgusted, or angry, or even slightly irritated. I was instead overwhelmed with sadness and love. These women, and the men "selling" them, are God's creation and are loved by Him just as much as I am. I looked into the faces of a few men who were trying so hard to get people to take their advertisements. Instead of seeing evil creatures, I saw empty, searching hearts. I saw the eyes of desperate, hurting souls.

I brushed away the tears as I walked away. These people were not litter. They were people Christ died for...just like me.

Free Book by Brian Tome

2010-02-18T21:12:00.000-05:00

“How in the world can you say that?”

Those were my first thoughts after reading the first two chapters of Free Book by Brian Tome.

He begins our trek by expressing his passion for freedom with seemingly extreme examples. Situations that for many would even appear reckless. The reader will either keep reading because he is ticked off or because they are on board with whatever he has to say next.

After creating an atmosphere of nervous curiosity, Brian lays out some very practical principles for understanding, gaining and continuing in freedom.

To help us understand, he gives a brief explanation of how knowing who we are in Christ is essential to being free. With that established, we are led through not only some steps to move toward freedom but also why those steps are crucial although not always easy. The journey winds down as the process of continued liberation is brought to light. He discusses how necessary and beneficial submission, community, grace and truth really are.

Brian’s goal…that his readers close the book knowing that freedom is attainable and sustainable. Does he achieve that goal? I believe he does.

*Free Book was provided free of charge by Thomas Nelson Publishers.

Just a Covering

2010-02-14T22:26:00.001-05:00

New fallen snow. A beautiful site that reminds many of us of forgiveness, purity or a new start. I woke up Saturday to a thin coating of new white snow. Old snow from past weeks now covered with fresh. But by the afternoon, what was enveloped was now exposed. The tainted past was brought into the light once more.

So often we try to cover up the hurts, pains and disappointments from our past without dealing with the issues underneath. That is like trying to build a house on a faulty foundation.

When a friend hurts you and instead of talking through the problem you decide to just "forget about it" and go on, you run the risk of that hurt eventually coming back to the surface. When it pokes its ugly head out again, it will cause more pain than before.

You are forced to deal with a traumatic event. You bury it under the guise of "I'm ok" or even "God and I are handling this." If you were truthful with yourself, you just want it to go away so you dismiss it. It gnaws at you from beneath the shell you created. It pops out every once in a while as depression, anxiety, or irritability, to name a few.

In order to heal from wounds, hurts, or issues from our pasts we need to deal with them. Confronting them in healthy ways. Confronting a friend about a hurt, consulting a pastor or counselor about an issue or event, will allow you to travel toward healing and not stall out on the side of the road.

Just covering something won't repair, fix, or restore it. Instead it will allow it to stagnate and stink up your life. Proverbs 18:14 & 15 say, "a crushed spirit who can bear? The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge; the ears of the wise seek it out."

Ask yourself if there is anything that you have covered and has crushed your spirit. What steps do you need to take to seek out healing?

What's the Use?

2010-02-06T23:18:00.002-05:00

Snow fell for days, again. As we are digging out after the third major winter storm of the year, the trees start throwing snow at us. The snow and ice that had been sitting there for the past day and a half was pelting the yard, the newly shoveled driveway, the cleaned cars and us. All that time spent on making sure the walkways and driveway are safe and for what. What's the use?

So many times in our lives we work on making something just the way we want it or how we think it should be, just to have it tarnished. The car that you take impeccable care of gets a ding in the door because of a careless driver who parked next to you. You know it's going to happen again. Do you stop washing and caring for your car? The home you invest time and money into has a window broken by a baseball hit by a neighborhood child. You know it is not the last time something is going to go wrong with your home. Do you break the rest of the windows to match? Of course not.

But how many times have we given up on our desires, dreams and ourselves simply because something hasn't gone exactly how we think it should go. You make a promise to stop smoking but a couple weeks later give in and have a cigarette. That one cigarette turns into a pack. You start a new diet and have lost a decent amount of weight. The party you go to with some friends has great food and becomes a downward spiral instead of a temporary setback. Internally we say, "What's the use?"

A few weeks ago, many of us made resolutions to change something about our lives or ourselves. We wanted to make our lives better. We still have the same ability to change we had then. What do we do to get the desire back?

What changes have you tried to make and what can you do to get back on track?

Trust on a Blanket

2009-12-25T21:30:00.000-05:00

This is the dog.

This is the dog that slept.

This is the dog that slept on the blanket.

This is the dog that slept on the blanket on the owner's lap.

This is the dog that slept on the blanket on the owner's lap in the car.

This is the dog that slept on the blanket on the owner's lap in the car on the way home.

This is the dog that slept on the blanket on the owner's lap in the car on the way home from Mom's.

This is the dog that slept on the blanket on the owner's lap in the car on the way home from Mom's during the thickest fog.

This is the dog that slept on the blanket on the owner's lap in the car on the way home from Mom's during the thickest fog I've ever traveled through.

This is trust on a blanket.

The fog was thick as we traveled home from my mom's tonight. At times, we were driving far below speed limit just trying to see the road. Sitting in the passenger seat, I was not envying the driver, my sister. She was doing an incredible job with the clouds pushing against the windshield. I am not ashamed to admit, I was scared. I felt my muscles tense each time the fog got thick and release when there was the smallest of breaks. I would lean slightly forward trying to force the fog to break or my eyes to see the lines. Each time I caught myself, I'd remind myself that I trusted my sister and my Protector. "Lord, I know you are protecting us and I thank you that you will get us home safely."

J is straining to focus on the road, control the car and defroster. I am praying and tensing and untensing. Bandit, my wonderful four-legged child, is on my lap fast asleep.

Our speed is changing depending on visibility. My "baby" is asleep. He is completely trusting the ones who care for him, feeling protected.

He wasn't reminding himself to trust us, he just was.

Tonight, I will go to sleep with the reminder from my own "child". I won't need to remind myself, I will just trust on my blanket.

Lessons from a Teenager's Heart

2009-11-29T22:20:00.000-05:00

Teenagers get a bad wrap. Things like they are selfish, arrogant, irresponsible, and the list goes on. But I love spending time with them.

I will not deny that there are times when the young people I hang out with Sunday nights may be any one or all of those things. I can also tell you about times they have loved unconditionally, been amazingly selfless, responsible and giving. In fact, I could give you more examples of the second list than the first.

Can they teach us anything. Yes they can.

Lesson 1: To help a person feel welcomed, wave at them like a crazy person and call their name as soon as they or you enter the room. One of my young ladies walked in to youth group tonight, yelled my nickname and excitedly waved at me with both hands. I felt so loved.
Adult translation: When a person comes in, let them know you are glad they are there with wave and a happy hello.

Lesson 2: To help a person feel accepted, excitedly plop into the seat next to them and ask how they are. Another young lady came in the room ran toward me and literally fell into the space beside me. "How are you?!" were the first words she spoke. I felt so cared about.
Adult translation: Sit next to a person and ask how their day has been. You'll make that person's day.

Lesson 3: To communicate with someone, send and read "random" thoughts via texts every few moments. Are the texts deep conversation? Probably not. But those little texts back and forth show you are being thought of and that you are a part of someone's life.
Adult translation: Talk about even the small stuff often. Keep the conversation going.

Lesson 4: To get smarter, take a chance on giving the wrong answer so you can find out the right one. We play quiz games each week and I love having teen partners who are willing to chance an answer even though it may be wrong. When they get it wrong and find out the right answer, the response is usually sad they got it wrong but grateful for the new info.
Adult translation: Take a chance even if you're not right all the time. Learn something new.

My heart is grateful that they are willing to teach me these lessons, even if they may not realize it.

What lessons have you learned from a teenager?

Ames' Unimportant Things

2009-05-09T22:50:00.000-04:00

Hmmmm...first time being tagged in a blog (Thanks, B) and of all things a topic where I have to talk about myself. Maybe that's why it took me so long to finish. Here we go...

1. The solitude of good music. The time in the car by myself with the music very loud, or the shuffle of favorite songs on the iPod.

2. I love seeing things in a store with the word “Nana” on them. We called my grandmother Nana and memories of her always make me smile.

3. Small waterfalls are fascinating to me. Watching the different plants and animals moving and living is relaxing and intriguing.

4. A newly organized space..ahhh. I will re-organize my office space often to feel refreshed.

5. I have 6 containers of bubbles in my office. I blow bubbles when I’m stressed to chill out or when it’s been a really good day and I’m feeling a little silly.

6.About 7:00 am on weekends, my four legged child sneaks from the bottom of the bed to the top of the bed and stares at me until I wake up. As my eyes focus on my furry visitor, my face gets covered in doggie kisses.

So, I guess it is now my turn to tag.

ajbeck

Alicia

Happy Four

Shannon

Can't wait to read your unimportant, happy things!

Directionless

2009-05-02T21:28:00.000-04:00

It was her last day at work. She was saying goodbye with tears in her eyes. Her staff was shocked. The looks on their faces showed just that. A wave of concern and confusion washed through the hallways and into each office. They were now directionless.

A board of directors pours over papers, makes phone calls and takes meetings. They look to others for advice and wisdom...before she leaves. They are taking the staff's best interests to heart. There is a new person in place within days. The board saw a direction.

There are times in our lives when things seem to be going along wonderfully then people leave or situations change or maybe don't change and we feel like we have no direction. Instead of a clear path, we are stumbling through a maze infused with fog.

We tend to forget that there is a Heavenly Father that sees what is going on in our lives, knows how we feel, and what needs to happen next. He always does and allows what is not only best for us but also for any of those people in our lives.

Directionless? Not really.

The Road

2009-04-27T08:25:00.000-04:00

The alarm clock thought it was going to win this morning. I tried not to let it, but of course me having to go to work gives it the upper hand. Usual morning routine and off to the trenches.

Got settled in to the morning when our administrative assistant arrived. She is 84 years old and has been working at Crisis Line for about 15 years. She always has a smile and a story. You know the stories...the ones from days gone by that you have heard at least 3 times but never tire of. At least I don't. I love how in each story these real characters were so carefree and seemingly fearless. She was quite the adventurous one reminding me of a cross between Anne of Green Gables and Laura Ingalls.

When she came in I was sitting at my computer deciding on my Twitter for the morning. She didn't seem like her usual self, a little down. We found out that she had received some bad health news last week and was actually devastated by it. She is as active as she can be and wants to continue to live as long as she can, not just exist. She really doesn't know what it means to just exist.

My thoughts were mixed. Part of me was hurting with her. The other part was thinking of the life she has lead and how there are probably few regrets in her heart. Will that be me at her age? It can be. Are there still things I need and want to experience, learn, do? Definitely. Will I do them? That is completely up to me.

My Twitter went from something pretty simple to a challenge, both personal and public...

What road will you journey on today? Will you take the one that will make a difference?

Even more than that, will you take the safe road because you know it well? Will you stay in your corner of the world, so you don't upset anyone?

Or...

Will you take a step or two onto a different path where there is a different experience to have? Do something that is "abnormal" so someone else can benefit? Not be the center of attention so someone else can get the attention they deserve or need? Put our needs and comforts aside to be there for someone else?

Let's do it!

Miss you, Chase

2009-04-26T05:59:00.000-04:00

The first day he walked in to my 8th grade English class, I was somewhat scared. His blond, stringy hair was down to his shoulders and in front of his face. I knew there had to be eyes behind it but I wasn't sure if I wanted to see them. His Goth appearance didn't help ease my anxiety. I figured, as long as he sat in his seat, did his work and left me alone I was content...

Chase had been in an alternative school for the first part of his 8th grade year. I had sent his assignments there and graded them when and if they came back. Then a third of the way into the year, they allowed him to come back to his regular classes. I heard all the talk from other teachers, "Oh him, he's always been a problem," "Better your class than mine," "Good luck getting him to do anything." Before he walked in I had made my judgment calls.

When he first walked in, my judgments were satisfied. "There is no way a kid like this can even want to be here. I'm in for a long rest of the year." Instead the rest of that year was not long enough.

His exterior disguised the intelligent, and sometimes wise beyond his year, interior.

After a few days of watching him walk the halls and talk to friends and taking the time myself to talk to him, I saw a different side of this young man that has taught me lessons I will ever forget.

There was a day when I was having a really hard time with a student that was in his circle of friends. I knew I wasn't winning with the kid or even helping him. I asked Chase to stay after class for a second. Most kids get that look of fear on their faces when you say that, but not Chase. We had built such a great relationship that he knew there was no problem. He walked over and simply smiled and said, "Yeh?" I humbly asked him what I was doing wrong and how I could change the way I handled situations with this kid. He looked straight in my eyes and said, "Stop trying to win." He was right. I was trying so hard to get him to obey that I was missing his needs. Chase gave me a few small pieces of info on the kid's life and background. At that moment, the student definitely became the teacher. I thanked him and as he walked away I patted him on the back and he just turned, smiled and said, "Sure."

Chase created an atmosphere of laughter and acceptance wherever he was. Many people were put off by their first sight of him but the majority of the time they changed their thinking.

Chase died in a car accident last week, April 22, 2009. Finding out was one of those surreal moments when everything seems to go in slow motion as you try to process the truth of it. I am and will be forever grateful for all he taught me. I will miss you, Chase, a lot.

Cocoon

2009-01-19T21:30:00.000-05:00

I lie here lifeless in this cocoon shedding my skin cause I'm ready to - Skillet

She wakes up one very cold winter morning wrapped deeply in the pillows and blankets that cover her queen size bed. She could lie there forever in the peaceful morning quiet, protected by the warmth of the billowy quilted layers. Her cocoon. Suddenly, the evil sound of the alarm splits through the tranquility stabbing past the covers and shakes her into reality. It’s time to get ready for another day in the rat race. If only she felt like a butterfly when she left her protective shell.

A cocoon is a protective covering woven by the butterfly where it is able to grow, change, strengthen and emerge. As it emerges, it has to use its newly developed wings and muscles to force the cocoon open. It cannot enjoy its new life unless it fights its way out. The cocoon was a necessary place for a time but now that the time of changing is complete the fight has to happen.

Each of us has that personal place where we could stay forever. A place we feel protected and safe. A place where the world is not so cruel or risky. A retreat. It’s a wonderful place to be, and at times it is where we need to be, but it is not a place we can stay. Why?

If a butterfly stops fighting and just decides to hang out in the cocoon, it will suffocate. The place of safety and comfort is no longer a protection but a prison. It becomes a place of no chances, no opportunities, no interaction, no dreams coming true, no love.

We all need those times to be alone and recharge. They are necessary and powerful. But there are times we allow these places to be become a place to hide thinking that is where we will be safe. Instead we will actual suffocate from a lack of opportunity, interaction, community and love.

Take the time to rest: to gain the strength to push out and be a better you. Are you ready?

Do you have time?

2008-12-27T17:13:00.000-05:00

I am very sure we have all had those days when we look back through it and wonder where the time went. We start thinking about what else we could have or should have done. Fact is, we can't get the time back so we need to focus on what we can do with the next day.

Some people make a to do list on paper and some have one internally. Some people schedule every moment and some people just go with the flow.

Over the past couples of months we have scheduled time for family and friends. Thanksgiving is at our house. Christmas Eve is at one set of grandparents' houses and Christmas afternoon is at the other grandparents'. Presents are opened at so many different locations, we can forget which presents we got from whom.

But one of the most important things we can do or gifts we can give during any season is to let the people in our lives know what they mean to us. Let them know that we appreciate them and love them.

Don't let this day's schedule be complete without taking the time to say I appreciate you or I love you.

The Potter Seeds

2008-12-24T22:26:00.000-05:00

I was sitting tonight watching one of the all time favorite Christmas classics, "It's a Wonderful Life."

Most of us know the story. George Bailey grows up in the little town of Bedford Falls. Throughout his life he puts others first. As a young boy, he saves his brother's life and the life of a sick child when he catches the druggist's mistake. When he grows into a young man, he gives up his own dreams of traveling the world to keep his father's business alive and to allow his brother to follow his dreams. As an adult, he saved the town from financial ruin by giving up the money he planned to use for his honeymoon to give his customers hope. George lived a selfless life.

As all heroes, he also had an arch enemy, Mr. Potter. Mr. Potter was a mean, money hungry banker who had tried for years to take over the building and loan and the town.

Then the day came when Potter saw his grand opportunity. George's uncle went to make the bank deposit. As he greeted Mr. Potter, he mistakenly gave the money to him instead of putting it with the bank documents. Potter knew that without that money in the bank, George would be in enough trouble to be arrested and he could take over the Bailey business and the town, so he kept the money.

George ran around town trying to figure out what to do. Soon, he ended up in Mr. Potter's office as a last resort. Potter questioned George's motives and integrity and planted the seeds of doubt in George's mind. Those seeds of doubt, Potter Seeds, took root and as they grew, George even decided his family would be better off without him.

After all the good things he had done and the "wonderful life" he had led, Mr. Potter's words cut so deeply that George doubted the truth he had seen and experienced in his life.

As Christians, how many times have we allowed our arch enemy to tell us that the things we have done, the life we have lived and the lives we have touched are worthless. That our contributions to life and living have really made no difference at all.

If we take a closer look and push aside those thoughts of defeat, we can see the comfort of the listening ear we gave to a friend; the relief we gave to a family that needed the food we donated; the hope of the hug during a family members time of grief.

Don't let the Potter Seeds of doubt, worry, or worthlessness choke out the garden of beautiful healthy plants your life has sown. The truth is that you were created for a purpose and your "wonderful life" does make a huge impact.

Think Before You Give

2008-12-22T00:44:00.001-05:00

It is that time of year. The time to flood the malls, department stores and, of course, Walmart to find the perfect gift. I see people walking through the stores looking at the people they are shopping with asking, "Do you think they will like this?" They are holding an item off that row of the store that changes with the seasons. Next week it will be a row of Valentine's Day cards, but today it is filled with novelty cookie jars and hot chocolate sets.

I have a good friend who is a genius at gift giving. She has the amazing superpower of hearing things you said you wanted in February, realizing you have not gotten it yet and finding a way to get it for you. I have found myself wishing I had her powers.

She also has the ability to buy gifts that fit your love languages. For those of you who have never read the book The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman, his premise is that we accept and give love according to our love language. The five love languages are words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, acts of service and receiving gifts.

The best gifts I have been given and the ones I love seeing received are the ones that just fit the love language. If a person is not into receiving gifts and their language is quality time think a little deeper. A coupon for a movie night together or a gift certificate for dinner with a note letting them know that this will give them a chance to spend quality time with someone will mean more than a gift from the seasonal aisle.

Take time this season to think one step further and give a gift that will not just put a smile on their face, but make their heart smile as well.

Early Morning Moments

2008-12-18T08:16:00.000-05:00

I am an early riser but today was a little earlier than normal. A friend in my small group had to be at the airport for a 6:20 flight so I picked her up at 5:15 to get her there in plenty of time. We just chatted about small stuff as we drove through the fog.

We got to the airport, got the luggage out and I parked the car. I went in just to hang with her until she passed through that last security gate where the security officers remind you, "You shall not pass."

As she checked her bag I got to say hello to another friend that works at the airport. I had no idea she worked there so it was a sweet surprise.

The airport is so incredibly close to Starbucks that I just had to stop. As I walk in, there were two friends I got to spend a few minutes with and a few new people I got to chat with. One had actually taken a few moments to stop at a local fast food joint and bring the morning baristas breakfast. I think my drink tasted a little better than usual because the barista's mood was pumped about his biscuit sandwich.

I made my way home and decided to stop by a local fast food restaurant myself to bring some breakfast home for my sister. We sat and chatted before she had to head off to work.

Little moments and big smiles, forever remembered...and all before 7 a.m. I am so grateful I was asked to go to the airport. Thanks, Chels!

Build a Ladder

2008-12-14T20:48:00.001-05:00

I was talking to a friend a few days ago and she was feeling like she was in a pit with some things she was going through. She made the comment that she just wished God would hear her and pick her up out of the hole.

Whether we dig the holes ourselves or we end up there because of situations in our lives, we sometimes expect God to just pull us out. There are times when we are given the blessing of being pulled out but they are few.

Instead, it is in those times that we gain strength - physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. It is in those times that along with or instead of asking for an easy way out of the hole, we should be asking Him to help us build a ladder. Each rung a different level of wisdom, stamina, or understanding. Each one a different lesson learned.

So next time you're in a tough spot, ask God to help you add another rung to your ladder. Someday you may be able to use your ladder to lower to someone else who can learn from our times with the Master Carpenter.

Why Roughruby?

2008-12-07T19:50:00.000-05:00

What is so special about a ruby? There many things about rubies that are unique from any other gem. When an uncut ruby is allowed to absorb true sunlight and then taken out of the sun, it will glow. Rubies are formed right next to sapphires yet somehow contain an extra mineral that sapphires do not. These are a few reasons why their worth is second only to the diamond.

Proverbs 31 says that a virtuous or noble woman is worth more than the price of rubies. The rubies we see in jewelry store counters do not start out looking that way. They begin as raw or rough rubies that have been carefully and precisely cut to bring out the inner beauty. The same is the case for virtuous women. They don't just happen. Wise advise, circumstances, and how we handle them chip away at the rough edges of our character and bring out the inner beauty of who God created us to be.

Virtuous women start as rough rubies and become more beautiful as they allow their Creator to shape their hearts and lives.

*The picture above is the magnified image of an uncut ruby.